Characteristics to Look for in a Great Friend
Continuing on the conversation from last week about the ways to end a friendship, today we'll discuss the characteristics that make a great friendship.
This is a conversation I feel I have been having consistently over the last twelve months, with different people, the result of lock-downs, people are questioning the friendships and other relationships in their lives assessing whether these relationships are still cultivating lasting healthy friendships.
As with any relationship it is important to also assess your own contributions to the friendship, it is so easy to place the blame on the other party, as most people are not comfortable looking at their own behaviours and characteristics. As quiet often the people around us are a reflection of our own-selves.
This is the reason you hear successful people say one of the important points of success is to surround yourself with people who are successful. By doing so you are sitting in the energy you are wanting to generate.
Back to friendship, this guideline also applies to your friendship circle, the people you are surrounded by are aspects of yourself and the energy you are sitting in a projecting out to the world.
So, what are the characteristics to look for in a great friend?
1. They are available.
A good friend equally invests into the friendship with you. This is an intentional and purposed exchange of time and energy given to the friendship. This doesn't mean just being physically present with you, but also being emotionally available as well. We feel listened to and appreciated rather than ignored or dismissed, which helps us to feel connected and safe to share our lives with.
2. They Listen
You can tell a good friend when you are having a tough time and they'll listen, they won't tell you about the thing that happened to you five years ago, but they will listen and validate your feelings. They are a sounding board and will know when all you need is someone to listen to you rather than offer advice. They show up for you whether it showing up to your parent's funeral or picking you up from the doctors, but they show up and are there to listen and support you.
3. They hold you to a higher standard.
A good friend will pull you up when you are being lesser than you can be. They will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. A good friend will challenge you to be the best part of you, and they want you to be the best you can be. They are on the side of what's good for you.
4. They are supportive.
You can tell your friend good news and they will help you celebrate. A good friend is supportive of your endeavours and goals, and they are genuinely happy and want to celebrate your successes and achievements with you.
So, go and surround yourself with the people who bring out the best in you and you bring out the best in them.